When Good Enough Is EXCELLENT
Adapted from Daily Cup of Yoga
Sometimes good enough is excellent. Despite what our high school principals would tell us. Even though our leaders espouse magnificence. Even though our leading self-help gurus often say otherwise. There’s a lot of messaging out there about going beyond what’s good…to being great. Outstanding. Par excellence. Blowing the roof off.
All of this is good…except when it isn’t. Except when we look at what others are doing and think that’s what we need to do, too. Good enough is good enough when pursuing excellence would mean pursuing the excellence of others.
Good enough is, in fact, excellent when it means we stop looking at what others are doing and start asking ourselves what it is we can do. It’s excellent when it means we stop looking outside ourselves for the bar with which we measure our successes.
Nobody else walks in your shoes. Nobody else lives your life, has your story, or knows what you know. Nobody else has your combined talents, history, skills and expertise. Nobody else has your particular shine. Don’t be excellent if it means trying to fit yourself into someone else’s definition of the term.
In yoga, we talk about ahimsa: non-violence. Also interpreted as compassion, it can encompass seeing ourselves in others, the unity between us all, and operating from a place of understanding and acceptance. Turning that inward means applying these same values to ourselves. How would living from a place of self-compassion look? What role might understanding and acceptance play in the story of your future successes and how you got there?
There’s also the concept of the essential self and the social self—which from the yogic perspective links in with the soul or atman and the ego (the part of us that believes we are separate and defined by our differences). The essential self is the part of us that knows what’s right for us, and makes choices based on that. The social self is the part of us that is concerned about pleasing other people, and makes choices based on that.
Excellence isn’t excellent when it’s based on pleasing other people. And good enough is, in fact, excellent, if it feels totally and completely right for us.
When Good Enough is Good Enough
When it means you’ll take the first step, knowing that no matter what the outcome, simply having taken the first step is enough.
- When it means you’ll be stop comparing yourself to others and do it in the way that’s most right for you.
- When it means you’ll stop ignoring what you need: rest, fun, a break from what’s standard.
- When it means you’ll begin something you’d never otherwise had the guts to try.
We need both our soul and our ego, our essential self and our social self—and when we come from a place of ahimsa, we’ve got both sides of ourselves supported and unconditionally loved.
How would that impact your path to success?
What's the Point of Pranayama?
An excerpt from Ekachakra....
As part of my attempt to “go beyond asana” this year, I’ve been trying to practice and learn more about pranayama (yogic breathing exercises). Luckily for me, one of my teachers is also into pranayama and he’s been incorporating about five minutes of breathwork into most of his classes lately. Of course, if you practice vinyasa style yoga, you should always be doing a form of pranayama in your regular practice–i.e., Ujjayi breath, or “victory breath” (as is very common here at Yogalife Studios). But there’s a lot more to pranayama than just breathing deeply during your asanas. As you delve deeper into the intricacies of pranayama, however, a nagging question will inevitably arise: What’s the point? In some sense, this is a question you could ask about any aspect of yoga. With the physical asana practice, it’s a bit easier to come up with an answer. For a lot of people, yoga is just another form of exercise, so “the point” of going to yoga class is to, say, lose weight, tone your muscles, get ready for bikini season, etc. Of course, yoga is so much more than this, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of approaching yoga as mere exercise.
If you’re like many, though, you’re intrigued by the philosophical and non-physical aspects of yoga. But you might also be wary of esoteric or religious ideology (as many of my teachers are...). Some teachers are pretty skeptical of chakras, doshas, nadis, or many of the other spiritual ideas you sometimes hear yoga teachers talk about, while others base their entire practice and teachings on them.
What is important to recognize is that yoga has the potential to be so much more than just a good workout, so I am gradually tiptoeing my way into other areas of yoga beyond asana. For now, these two areas are meditation and pranayama. With each of these practices, I find myself struggling sometimes to relate it to the physical asana practice. I also find myself lost at times, unsure of what these practices are meant to accomplish in terms of the spiritual, emotional, psychological, or what have you.
With pranayama, I think I’m finally starting to get it. For years, I would do breathing exercises in yoga class just as a matter of course. I’d roll my eyes and just go along with it, annoyed that the teacher was wasting valuable class time on something that seemed to have no obvious purpose (have any of you reading this felt this way...been annoyed with something other than the physical practice?). I mostly felt like we were playing yogi, and that the pranayama exercises were really accomplishing nothing more than shortening the amount of time we’d have to do the fun stuff, namely, the asanas.
Nowadays, however, when the teacher leads us through some pranayama exercises, I find myself almost elated. I love this portion of the class, when I’m lucky enough to get it. Afterwards, when I reflect on my practice, I often think that the breathwork was the most challenging and rewarding portion of the entire class.
Part of this shift in attitude has been my growing realization that pranayama is a way to prepare for dhyana (meditation). Now that I have a regular meditation practice, I can better understand how pranayama fits into the larger yoga picture. When you control the breath and focus on counting the inhales and exhales, you’re engaged in the sort of mental activity that is the precursor to a clear mind. That is, you encourage your mind to focus, and by turning inward towards the breath, your mind is much less likely to indulge the random thoughts that usually occupy it.
So if I had to say, in a word, what the purpose of pranayama is, it’d be this: focus. But focusing is not, in and of itself, meditation. According to the eight limbs of Ashtanga yoga, focusing the mind is an intermediary stage on the way towards meditation. This meditative state, what Zen practitioners sometimes call “empty mind,” is marked by perfect clarity and stillness. You’re actually not focusing on anything; rather, the mind is sharp without being directed towards any particular object or thought.
I find myself drawn to the practice of pranayama. Yet the appeal is not intellectual. Instead, I find myself drawn to pranayama because of my immediate, first-person experience of it. Somehow, the act of doing pranayama is far more enlightening than reading or talking about it.
Have any questions about Pranayama or all things "breath?" Feel free to contact us at info@yogalifestudios, or get in contact with our Exquisite Breath expert, Brittany Rudyck!
Melissa Talks About Ashtanga Yoga
Ashtanga Yoga is a lineage of Vinyasa Yoga developed by Pattabhi Jois and is a methodology to cleanse our body of impurities. Through the use of Tristana, we hope to cleanse 3 areas of our body.
1. Asana - the physical postures to clean our body.
2. Pranayama - breathwork to clean the energy channels in the body.
3. Drishtana - the idea of focus, used to cleanse the brain and nervous system.
Ashtanga yoga follows the lunar cycle; as our bodies are composed of 70% water, and the moon governs the tide, by practicing according to the lunar cycle, Ashtanga hopes to reset the body to a more natural state before we implemented artificial lighting in our society.
"The point behind Ashtanga, is that if you practice every day, your practice will eventually change." - Melissa Perret
Ashtanga yoga is accessible to everyone, but be aware it is challenging! It's a humbling experience, as the postures initially seem impossible, but with time, patience, and the ability to let go of the exterior, the postures will find themselves into your practice, and your ego will begin to dissipate. For Melissa's registered yoga class, beginners are welcome, but we ask that all participants come already comfortable with the basic postures of a vinyasa - upward facing dog, downward facing dog, chaturanga etc. We do not recommend attending this registered class if you have no yoga background at all.
"You will immediately see that you have to let go of your ego, as you initially face some very challenging postures, and take a more inward focus to your practice - a moving meditation." -Melissa Perret
Ashtanga Melissa from Yogalife Studios on Vimeo.
The Fruits of Falling - Both ON and OFF the Mat
An excerpt adapted from Jennifer Radhika Lung
I remember the first time I fell out of the Feathered Peacock Pose, known to Sanskrit junkies as Pincha Mayurasana.
It was a calm and beautiful sunny morning and the dew on the grass in my protected and fenced backyard was starting to evaporate due to the brilliant rays of sunlight. On many different occasions, I had seen countless yogis effortlessly float their way into this forearm balance (or insert any other pose you have noticed someone move into, while you thought... wtf?). And on my own, with absolutely no one to witness the glory of me “striking the pose,” I went for it. I went for it bad. I kicked up one leg, the other followed, and the momentum—or perhaps it was the sudden gust of wind (yeah, right)—threw me flat on my back, like a pancake. I was stunned to say the least. The brunt of the fall was physically felt in my neck, but I think the most damage was felt in my mind. Fear. Failure. The fear of falling on my back again, perhaps leading to a neck injury, which would result in paralysis and confinement to a wheelchair, and then no one would love me anymore—so on and so forth.
That’s the funny thing about fears: I could keep feeding this or any other fear, and more fears—most of which were irrational—would develop.
Following this incident, I babied this pose against the wall for about two more years. My yogini sister kept telling me, “You’re ready to do Pincha without the wall.” “But…!” fear would say, so I listened and glued my mind and body to the wall. However, as I delved into the intermediate second series of Ashtanga Yoga, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I would need to face the pose head on. On a fateful day in a yoga studio, once again alone and without witness, I confronted fear and the possibility of failure. I very carefully set up the foundation of the pose as I always had, with one exception—no wall.
I tapped into the essence and core of my being, mustered inner strength while watching the ebb and flow of my breath, and then went for it. Ta-da! I felt so free and liberated, a certain level of giddiness welled up inside me!
Yes!
I fell, but did not fail. I fell with grace and control, landing softly on my feet.
I got up and tried again, not with the heaviness or fear of falling, but with lightness and liberation of knowing I could fall and get back up—over and over again. So the next time I have fear of falling, or perhaps even failing, both on off the mat, I know I have the inner strength to get back up and try and try again.
Repeat as necessary.
Forgiveness - 4 Ways to Let Go of Resentment
Adapted from Ashley Turner from wanderlustfestival.com
Thank you to my lovely wife for providing this article!
For many of us, the emotions that hold the tightest grip on our hearts are disappointment, resentment, blame and anger. They place a stranglehold on our happiness and the only person who can release them is YOU! Although forgiving someone (or ourselves) can happen in an instant, my experience is that it is usually a much more lengthy process requiring great patience, trust, persistence and prayer.
How do you know if you still need to forgive someone?
If you still feel a 'charge' or get 'triggered' when you talk or think about a person or incident, if you feel constricted, tight, feel a flush of anger (even subtly) or a surge of energy physically - it probably means there is some unresolved emotional material for you to continue processing and letting go of. Forgiveness and compassion are associated with the heart chakra; it's quite possible that you will feel a tightness in the upper back, between the shoulders, have a sunken chest, have difficulty taking a deep breath and feel deflated or low energy.
Here are 4 steps to help you forgive:
1. Understand why someone acts the way they do.
Perhaps, the most important tool and first step in forgiveness is to understand "WHY" someone acted the way they did. What are they trying to protect? What are they afraid of? Reframe by building a new cognitive framework as to WHY someone might act the way they do. We are all doing the best we can with the skills and awareness we have. Beginning to ask different questions and understand WHY breeds compassion and helps loosen the ties that bind us to blame.
2. Feel. Express your emotions.
This may mean digging up long held or buried emotions from the past, your childhood or right now. Until we fully release the emotions held in our bodies, they will continue to affect our current mindset - creating tension in the body-mind and even leading to illness.Do Anger Work. Find ways to primally release anger, rage and blame. Go into nature to yell or scream, cry, weep, hit something (pillow, tennis racket on couch cushions, boxing class) – let it out! Ask yourself: - How does this feel in my body? - What does it feel like to be abandoned/betrayed/rageful? - What are the sensations? Write the person (or yourself) a letter. You don't have to send it, but getting our emotions out on paper gives them a place to live outside of yourself and your body. Talk to the person (if possible). This is only helpful if it is safe for you to speak with the person AND if you are in a calm, centered state of mind. It is not usually effective to speak with the other person when you are angry or until you have processed your emotions significantly on your own. You can also do this even if the person is not physically present or has died. Sit quietly. Close your eyes and call in the other person, their spirit and energy. Imagine them sitting across from you, how they look, how you feel. Tell them out loud what you are feeling, imagine a dialogue between you. When you are finished, thank them for listening and release them in gratitude.
3. Rebuild safety.
Once you have adequately expressed your emotions, create new boundaries for yourself within the relationship. This may mean that you no longer see the person, end the relationship or establish new guidelines. In the future, you may be able to reestablish a friendship but your psyche and emotions need time to heal.
4. Let go.
Fully letting go of a past transgression and completely forgiving may take many months or years. You may have a phase of feeling better and then realize that you are still grieving or angry. This is natural. The soul does not heal on linear time. Give yourself space and time, ask for help, get quiet, mindful + pray. In order to fully release, you have to change your version of the story and how you identify with it. This is the meaning of the myth of reincarnation. You are born anew.
Here's a sample forgiveness prayer: "I ask help in releasing this.... (person, event, etc). I feel..... God/Universe/Spirit/Higher Self, please help me release and let go. Help me forgive. I cannot do this alone and need your support, guidance, strength and love. I ask you to enter my heart now and help me let go. Guide my actions and thoughts today. Thank you."
If you are looking for an incredible book, try and grab "The Aladdin Factor."
- Brandon
Use Your Heart as a Wall: Make It Stronger Instead of Shutting Down
We have all felt it - heartbreak. Ugh. What an ugly word. Maybe it was from a significant other, a spouse, a friend, a business partner, etc. Whatever and whoever it was, it likely wasn't easy. This article is just a story on some insight of an experience the author had. Ultimately, the purpose of all of the hurt ends up working the muscle of your heart, and making it stronger. But only if you're open to it. What I do want to share, is that perhaps you are reading this article, and there is someone you know going through this. If, so, PLEASE remember this...“Sometimes people put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” - Brandon
Adapted from Stewart Snyder.
“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” -Unknown
“I’m done here. It’s time for me to move on,” she spoke softly as if unsure herself. For a moment, I swore she said “I’m not done here,” but she didn’t. She was leaving me.
The poison in the words numbed my body and my soul. All of a sudden, there seemed to be a big hole where my heart used to be. Survival mode kicked in and I started protecting that “empty” space. For me, it was isolating myself from social situations, even work. I sunk myself into spiritual reading, grasping for any words that might fill the hole. This was the first time I had felt it. Heartbreak. This was my first experience feeling something so painful that I fell into the cycle we all do.
In Your Own Defense
That sense of an empty heart is something all of us are familiar with. When we are hurt, we immediately want to protect ourselves. We change some behavior to act as a defense mechanism for the “next time.” These mechanisms compound to build a thicker and thicker wall “protecting” our heart. For me, it took forever. The pain began to have breaks, yet came back with the same intensity. After more forever, the breaks became longer until the pain began to be only spikes during memories. Finally, the pain began to slowly subside in intensity. Leaving only emptiness...
What About the Emptiness?
It turns out that emptiness is atrophy. When there is no love in the heart, it is like a precisely tuned machine with nothing to produce. It just sits there and begins to rust. So, I, as do many of us, waited for the pain to subside behind the walls built from heartbreak. All the while, my heart sat rusting. Hmmm. Now I’ve got a rusted heart and a bunch of walls to break through. There’s got to be a better way…and there is.
A Different Kind of Wall
It is said that there are two ways to deal with pain. One is to shut your heart off so it won’t be hurt; the other is to open it bigger to allow more love to find it. These are odd phrases, you know? Your heart is a muscle. It has inherent strength that can be made stronger, like every other muscle, by using it.
Choose to use your heart as the wall to protect you.
Even when hurt, continue to build the heart muscle from use. Yes, it’s weakened by the sting, but it’s still capable of all the strength it had before. A strong, loving heart is more prepared to absorb hurtful blows than weak attempts to hide it from the world. Even a broken heart continues to feed the body. Grow your heart by learning from the pain and continuing on. Continue on as before, loving as deeply as you can. The more you love, the more strength your heart retains and builds.
Love. Learn. Love more.
Imagine your heart as a castle. When something approaches, let it in just as a castle’s drawbridge lets in its guests. Let your still loving heart’s strength protect you from emotional attacks, catapulting letdowns, and poisonous relationships, like the stone walls of those castles. You see, walls are built stone by stone. Let your stones be loving acts both given and received, instead of compounding defense mechanisms. Give and be grateful for receiving each piece of strength to your wall, knowing there’s still a drawbridge.
Un-loving Is Impossible
I loved “her” dearly, you know? No matter how much it hurt, though, I couldn’t un-know that love. The pain subsided, but the love was just as strong—just still there. Those that I meet now that approach my castle are greeted and welcomed with the love I learned from her. Sure, some may aim to hurt, or do so unintentionally, but they have no idea the strength they’re up against. Love after love, my heart becomes stronger. With each loss, a new layer of muscle rebuilds over the last. With a stronger a heart, a stronger love, and a new, different, more beautiful cycle is born.
Of Nothing
So, what was the point of the defense mechanism walls? Nothing. They only served to contain, block, and otherwise stifle the beautiful strength the heart could build. The more you compound your defenses, the more you stifle your heart. The longer you wait to love, the more your heart rusts. Conversely, the more you simply love, the stronger your heart-wall becomes and the more able you are to absorb the hurt and build again.
Crazy In Love
The pain still comes, soft and far between. My eyes still tear. But now, it’s for the memory of that time we shared, the gratitude for the biggest lesson, for the little piece of my heart that tells her it’s okay when she’s staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night. Crazy, isn’t it? I left a piece of my heart with her. My heart shouldn’t be as strong as it was, let alone stronger. But it is, because the heart, like any other muscle, gets strong with use. Build your heart. Love with every opportunity. Be readily prepared to open that left ventricle when the charming knight or beautiful princess arrives.
Simply be love.
Your Past Need Not Become Your Future
An excerpt adapted from Ed & Deb Shapiro:
No matter how hard we want to, there's one thing we can never do, and that's change the past. We can weep, beat our fists against the wall, eat bags of cookies to assuage our guilt, but it won't make the slightest bit of difference and won't make us feel any better. The past is gone, over, no more, finito.
So why do we continue to live in the past, either by longing for it to repeat itself, fearing it will happen again, or regretting what happened and wanting to do it all over anew? Continuing to wish that either the past would happen again or that it had been different means that we're really not here in the present. We're living in the land of what-was or what-might-have-been or if-only. And if the past was either too painful or too boring, then we switch to the future, that place of infinite potential we want to believe could be real or that place of fear of what might happen but hasn't happened yet; we live in what-could-be or what-we-hope-never-will-be.
Of course we can learn from the past. Often the most painful experience turns out to be our best teacher; we can even be grateful for what happened, as it taught us so much.
And memories can be like comfortable old shoes we are reluctant to part with. We can certainly put them on now and then, but we don't have to hang out in them on a permanent basis. Instead, we can look at what happened with present-moment eyes. This means looking without hope, longing, regret or fear. Fully accepting that the past is irreversible and the future doesn't exist means we can actually be in the present moment. What a relief! Finally, we can just be here and now. Wow! What a revelation!
One of the greatest wonders of taking quiet time out, as in meditation, is that we quickly see that nothing is fixed, solid, or permanent.
The experience of meditation is one of being completely and utterly present, which may sound simple but is actually quite rare: Normally, we're distracted by issues hanging over from the past or anxious about issues coming up in the future. We bounce back and forth like a monkey jumping from branch to branch. Anywhere seems better than being right here. The egoic mind always needs a drama or distraction to feed on. The more awake we become the less of a job the ego has until it becomes redundant. So, to preserve itself, it thrives on confusion and chaos, constantly distracting us from being really present.
When we are present then demanding thoughts do not disturb us; even anger, resentment, hurt, or other negative emotions have no power.
When present, we awake to the potential in every moment. In meditation we see what comes and goes -- our thoughts and feelings, longings and anxieties -- and what stays, which is who we truly are within ourselves. No matter if the past was wonderful or woeful, we are freed of left over hang-ups or unfulfilled desires, of future concerns or longings, and rest in awareness.
Today is a very special day. It has never happened before and it will never happen again.
And we have no idea what will come next. What a great day just to be here. To show up now. The perfect day to let the past rest where it is and let the future take care of itself. As is every day. To experience just this moment, to pay attention to the colors, sounds, smells, and sensations, to be compassionate to your feelings, and other people's feelings. And to make this day one of beauty and tenderness, a choice we are given in every moment.
Being Happy in the Present Moment
Adapted from Omer Khan:
We all want to be happy but we also have preconceived notions or beliefs about what needs to happen in our lives before we can be happy.
Maybe we need to get that dream job. Or we need to have a million dollars in the bank. Or maybe we need to have the body of our dreams. Or we need the perfect relationship in order to be happy. The list goes on. Yes, these things may indeed make us happy. Or then again, they may not. When we set goals, we also have the tendency, once we’ve achieved them, to replace them with new goals. So you may find that you still don’t feel happy after you’ve achieved that “big goal” because you’ve just replaced it with an even bigger goal that you now need to achieve before you can be “truly happy”. But by doing this, we stack the odds against ourselves.
If we play this game in order to find our happiness, then there’s a good chance that we’ll spend the rest of our lives chasing down the dreams that may ‘one day’ make us happy. What if I told you that you don’t need any of those things in order to be happy in your life and that you can be happy today? The key to happiness is learning how to be happy right now, while you work on achieving your goals, instead of waiting until you’ve achieved those goals to be happy.
Here are 6 simple tips that you can start applying today:
1. Practice Daily Gratitude
No matter how bad we think our problems are, you can almost guarantee that there’s someone out there with much bigger problems than us. You may have heard the saying “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet”. We need to be grateful for everything we have in our lives and practicing daily gratitude is a great way to train our minds to have an attitude of gratitude. One technique for doing this is called “3 good things”, where every night, you simply write down three things that went well that day and casually reflect on why they happened.
2. Be Present Both Mentally & Physically
Whatever you’re doing, make sure that both your mind and body are present. Don’t eat dinner with your family while you’re thinking about work. Don’t do work, while you’re thinking about what you’ll do this weekend. Always be present and let your mind focus 100% on what you’re doing. Try to find at least one situation every day where you can practice being present.
3. Stop Resisting What You Can’t Control
Stop resisting the things in your life that you can’t control and aren’t the way that you want them to be. Stop worrying about what other people do or say. Start accepting things for how they are, regardless of whether you think it’s right or wrong. Accept it as a fact. You have a choice — you can keep resisting or you can accept the situation without judgement.
4. Avoid Negative People & Situations
Another cause of negative emotions and unhappiness are certain people or situations. You probably already know who those people are — they are the ones who seem to only see the negative side to every situation. They are often pessimistic, angry, critical and rarely have anything constructive to say. These people not only create unhappiness for themselves, but they also often drag down others around them by spreading this negative thinking ‘poison’. If you want to be happy, you have to avoid these people and situations as much as possible. Unfortunately, that’s not always so easy, since these people are often our friends or family members. So if you can’t completely avoid these people, then it’s worth planning ahead and deciding how you’ll deal with them in future situations.
5. Accept 100% Responsibility For Your Life
If we want to be happy, then we have to stop blaming others for what happens in our lives. We need to stop seeing ourselves as victims. In order to be happy, we have to take full responsibility for everything that happens in our life. When we take full responsibility, we take back control of our life and start to acknowledge that our thoughts and actions create the results in our life, not other people or situations. When we take back control of our life, we stop being victims. Instead we feel empowered to start creating a better life for ourselves. Be honest with yourself, are you accepting full responsibility for what happens in your life?
6. Be of Service To Others.
One really powerful way to increase your happiness is to focus on helping others. You can give money to charity — but there are more fulfilling ways of helping others. Instead of giving money, give your time. Get involved with a charity or donate a few hours to help with a local community project. Or just perform small random acts of kindness with no expectation of getting anything back.
So if you want to feel happier in the present moment, then start by choosing one of these 6 tips and take action today. At the same time, keep working on your goals, but don’t rely on them alone to make you happy. Choose to be happy right now.
Personal growth, change, transformation, and present moment awareness. These are all seemingly difficult things, but at the absolute very least, isn't being happy a much easier decision than holding on to anger? There's always something to contemplate :)
A Now Open Letter to My Daughters
An excerpt from Marc Middleton:
While I do not have any children myself, this letter needed to be shared. I hope parents and children alike will take the time to read a little about relationships and digital media.
This was never intended to be an open letter. I sent it as a personal note to my two college-age daughters, but with their permission and the encouragement of my co-workers at Growing Bolder, I have decided to publish it here in hopes that other parents will take the time to find the words to encourage their children.
Dear Kelsey and Quinn,
We live in a world in which communication has become easy, instantaneous and disposable. In the "old days" when long-distance phone calls were expensive and there was no such thing as Skype, emails or texts, we actually had to pull out a piece of paper and a pen and put some effort into expressing our thoughts and feelings. And because of that, we almost always wrote that which is too easily left out in a world filled with texts, 140-character tweets and 60-second phone calls.I'm afraid that I have enthusiastically embraced digital media for better and for worse.
Please forgive me for not communicating more deeply and more often, for not telling you both more frequently how much I love you and how proud I am of you.
You are both amazing young women -- very different in many ways, but very similar in ways that matter. You are able to chase different dreams while not, in any way, losing touch with who you are and what you believe in. That's not easy to do at any age. I can't begin to tell you how comforting it is to know that you have and will always have one another in your lives -- supporting, encouraging, listening and empowering. Of course, you will always have your mother and me in your corner as well. I realize that's not your ideal situation, but your worst-case scenario, your Plan B fallback option, is always a warm, loving, comfortable place to live, food to eat and two people who will do anything they can to help you. I hope that knowledge will always bring you comfort as you chase your dreams.
I can tell you that no matter how old you get, you will never stop learning, never stop dreaming and, unfortunately, never stop encountering hurdles and struggles and frustrations.
Happy people are those who recognize and appreciate the small blessings and tender mercies, but don't fret about or magnify the down days. They are part of every life and there will be many more of them but they can't steal your joy unless you let them. More than anything else, I wish you both happiness, and that can only come from within. Happiness is a choice. Learn to follow your heart. Be grateful. Be kind. Be bold. Have fun, have faith and be fearless. Take the right kind of chances. Chase your dreams, no matter how big or how small. Success isn't measured by the size of your check or by how many people know your name. It's measured by the joy in your heart and the impact you have upon others. Please don't pay too much attention to the garbage that our media and culture bombard you with. Most advertising is designed to make you feel inadequate in some way.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. You are both blindingly beautiful in the only way that really matters.
You are beautiful spirits and that is immediately obvious to anyone who takes even a moment to know you. I know you both already realize that you don't need a man to be happy or fulfilled. Of course, they can be nice to have around and I know you'll both find exactly what you're looking for when the time is right. Until then, remember that your worth is not determined in any way by a guy that you may or may not have.
I've learned more from both of you than I could ever hope to teach you. You are both amazing creatures and raising you has been the greatest blessing and honor of my life. I'll always treasure my role as your father but I'm equally excited about my role as your friend.
Love,
Dad
Fear - Understanding and Overcoming
Fear is about loss.
Fear is about the loss of familiar things.
We fear losing the jobs we don’t like and the people we don’t love.
This is what keeps us stuck in insanity.
We fear losing the comfort of a habit that gets in our way.
This is why we continue to numb ourselves.
We fear the loss of pleasures that we enjoy.
This is what causes us to lie, cheat or steal.
We fear losing our youth.
This is why we are deceitful about our age or try to stay forever young.
We fear losing our money or never having enough.
This is what causes us to ignore the people around us and to work an insane amount of hours.
We fear losing our status or recognition.
This is what causes us to pretend to be someone we’re not.
We fear death or losing our health.
This is what causes us to ignore and neglect the elderly population.
We fear losing our children.
This is why they can't talk to strangers or play in the front yard.
We fear losing our sense of identity.
This is why we worship our degrees, titles and live in cubicle prison.
We fear losing our sense of safety.
This is why have stuff packed in storage units and supplies stockpiled for doomsday.
We fear feeling unlovable and being unloved.
This is why we become people-pleasers and lose our souls in the process.
Fear sucks.
The only way to get around this nonsense is to understand that we really don’t have any of these things to begin with. Every thing is subject to change and alteration. Safety is an illusion.
The only thing that we can count on is the present moment. Notice that you are safe right now and get on with what you need to do!
Get rid of fear, love others and yourself, play, be authentic, take risks, show gratitude. You have today and this present moment. You are trading a piece of your time that you can never get back for this exact moment. Let that moment be something good.
Is Curiosity Proportional to Creativity on the Mat?
“Anyone can make the simple complicated. Creativity is making the complicated simple”
– Charles Mingus
Since childhood, we’ve been encouraged to ask questions using the five basic W’s and H (who, what, where, when, why and how). These questions can be simple in nature, but become complicated when impatience, discouragement and embarrassment constantly overwhelm the mind. Questions are tools for guidance not hindrance. Regardless of the question, the answer provided fosters a new learning experience. According to Amanda Lang in “The Power of Why,” curiosity inspires creativity. However, a creative blockage ensues when parameters and expectations cannot be questioned in a safe environment. Creative outlets and development thrive on the ability of self-discovery, thereby underscoring the need to try, question, and listen.
Now how does this relate to creativity on the mat?
In a yoga practice, whether it be a heated or a non-heated class, the possibility to creatively deepen your practice begins by listening to your body. Self-discovery in yoga coincides with body awareness. One aspect of body awareness considers the different muscle groups that are activated for different postures and sequences.
Curiosity plays an integral role in this particular aspect of body awareness.
How? For example, when the instructor says, "scissor your inner thighs together" in a lunging series, questioning and attempting the cue not only begins to create muscle memory, but acknowledges the muscle group. This can now be used in another posture. This acknowledgment enables the potential to ease into another unfamiliar or challenging posture in a safe learning environment that the mat can bring.
Here are some other suggestions to venture into creativity on the mat:
- try a yoga self-practice at home (this gives you the opportunity and time to explore the muscular engagement in different sequences, series and asanas)
- read some yoga articles and watch some yoga videos (inspiration can stem from new information and motivation by actions of others)
- Vlady Peychoff
8 Things to Fight for Every Day
Loosely Adapted From www.marcandangel.com...
As always, there is some tough truth in here. Number two sure brings up some stuff for me personally. Living a fully authentic life can be a struggle. But number seven. Oh, number seven. How thankful I am to be lucky enough to have that. My wish for you all. - Brandon Jacobs
Because everything in life worth having is worth fighting for…
1. Personal greatness.
Easy goals don’t exist. A goal is a point of achievement that requires effort and sacrifice. There are no esteemed ventures worth participating in that don’t require some level of effort and struggle.
Decades from now when you’re resting on your deathbed, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered goals of magnitude. You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible. Don’t do what’s easy, do what you're capable of. Astound yourself with your own greatness.
2. Honesty and truth.
Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on honesty and truth. When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, any attempt at transformation eventually leads to anger and frustration. The truth always creeps back up on you; it does not cease to exist when you ignore it. Being fake about any aspect of your existence slowly digs a dark void in your soul. Life will simply not work for you if you don’t show up as YOU. The truth may not be easy to deal with, but it will always set you free in the end.
3. A mind free of envy and jealously.
Envy and jealousy are costly diseases; you simply can’t be yourself within their confines. When you give in to them, the price you pay is steep – a bad mood, an unproductive mind, an inferiority complex, and a chronic migraine headache. Being envious of what someone else has is like drinking poison and waiting for it to somehow improve your situation. Likewise, tearing someone else down in your jealous mind only tears you down in real life. Rather than devastating yourself with contemplations of things you don’t have or don’t want to happen, think for a second about what you do have, what you do want going forward, and what you can do right now to make progress with realities you face.
4. Positive change.
The simple realization that you need to make a change can be a great source of motivation, but in order for this motivation to create positive change, you must apply it toward creating things of value. Don’t fight against what you don’t want; create what you do want. Don’t punish those who have caused you pain; let go and focus on something new that soothes your pain. Don’t focus on what you are running away from; give your attention to the great things you want to create in your life.
5. A willingness to learn from mistakes.
One mistake does not have to rule your entire life, and it can’t unless you let it. This hour is a brand new hour with no faults in it yet. Think about your mistakes and learn from them, but don’t attempt to carry their weight around with you. It's ALWAYS a heavy load to carry. The road to success is littered with mistakes. Avoiding them is impossible. The thing that will ultimately define your success or failure will not be how many mistakes you make, but how you handle them. The bottom line is that all mistakes die quickly, but you can’t live beyond what you know today if you aren’t willing to make mistakes and forgive yourself for them. Read The Untethered Soul
6. Persistence and patience.
Before you give up, think about how unfortunate it would be if the results you have worked to achieve required just a tiny dose of additional effort. How disheartening would it be if the train you’ve been waiting for arrived five minutes after you walked out of the station? Not only does success require diligent effort, it requires persistence and patience. Rest when you are tired, but don’t quit. You never know what’s just around the corner. It could be everything you’ve been working for, or it might be just another mile marker on your journey.
7. True love.
There is no soul mate out there who will solve all your problems. There is no love at first sight that lasts without work and commitment. But there is someone out there worth fighting for. Not because they’re perfect, but because they’re imperfect in all the ways that are right for you. You compliment each other’s flaws in a way that allows your two spirits to unite and operate more efficiently as one. You will know when you meet this person, when through them you meet the very best in yourself.
8. Goodwill.
There is no greatness or peace of mind where there is betrayal of your own goodwill. Always aim at complete sincerity of your thoughts, words and deeds. If it is wrong, don’t do it. If it is untrue, don’t repeat it. Do what you do because you believe it’s the right thing to do. Do the right thing even when nobody is looking. Be one of the people who make a true difference in the world by leaving it a little better and more wholesome than you found it.
7 Reasons You're Not as Successful as You Could Be.
An excerpt from www.marcandangel.com. It's worth the read!
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will. –Vince Lombardi
Feeling down about your forward progress lately? Do you feel like you’re running in place? Need some motivation and tough love to help you reinvigorate your success rate? Well, here you go – seven reasons you’re not the great success story you could be:
1. You do a lot of thinking without acting. Too often we think without acting. We do nothing with our ideas. Everyone who has ever taken a long, hot shower has had many great ideas. I’m sure you can relate. But you will only make a difference in this world if you get out of the shower, dry off and do something with them. The only way to conquer your dreams and doubts is with action. Wondering about them will not get anything done. Avoiding challenges will only make them grow bigger. If you wait until all conditions are perfect, you will spend the rest of your life waiting.
Great achievements are made by starting from exactly where you are right now with exactly what you have right now. Stop wondering and start doing. Once you’ve made a little progress you’ll always know, without a doubt, that you can make even more progress if you try. Read 1,000 Little Things.
2. Your creative mind is completely unfocused. Constraints nurture productive side of the creative mind. At first it might seem as though complete freedom makes all creative ventures more attainable, but this isn’t the truth. Complete freedom makes the possibilities endless, but keeps your efforts scattered and unfocused. Often, self-imposed constraints, or boundaries, force you to think differently about challenges, leading to more practical ideas and innovations. Instead of thinking ‘outside the box’ and looking in every possible direction, get inside onebox – a specific problem that needs a resolution, a smaller space where big changes can be made, etc. – and focus your creative attention on making a difference. Over time, as you test these boundaries by pushing against them, you figure out which ones can be broken and expanded, and which ones need to remain fixed in place.
3. You are focusing too much on fears and defeats. Your problems are really your blessings if you use them to grow stronger. Never quit just because you feel temporarily defeated. You have not been beaten – this is not a competition. Keep working to be the best you can be. It doesn’t matter how slow you go so long as you don’t give up on yourself.
In the long run, it usually isn’t what you have or where you are or what you’ve been through that makes or breaks you; it’s how you think about it all and what you do next. Focus your conscious mind on things you desire, not your fears and defeats. Doing so brings dreams to life. Read Awaken the Giant Within
4. Your expectations are crushing you. Drop the needless expectations. Appreciate what is. It doesn’t matter if your glass is half empty or half full. Just be thankful that you have a glass and that there’s something in it. Choosing to be positive and having an appreciative attitude influences everything you do. The magnitude of your happiness and success will be directly proportional to the magnitude of your thoughts and how you choose to think about things.
Nothing ever works out exactly the way you want it to. Hope for the best, but expect less. Appreciate reality, don’t fight it. Don’t let what you expected to happen blind you from all the goodness happening around. Even if it doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new.
5. You have become distracted from your core goals. People might tell you it’s impossible, but it’s not. Though the challenges may be great, you can make things happen. The odds may not seem to be in your favor right now, but you can change the odds. When something difficult you want to achieve connects deeply with your purpose, it becomes possible. When you are driven and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there step by step.
So look within yourself and unearth the values and goals that you most earnestly feel a deep connection with. In the end, it’s the things that are genuinely important to you that will power your greatest achievements. Read The 52-Week Life Passion Project
6. You are playing it too safe. Pain is a pesky part of being human but it’s vitally important. It strengthens the mind, heart and body. You can’t grow strong, brave, or successful in this world if you’ve only had good things happen to you within the safe boundaries of your own little comfort bubble. You need real life experiences, and nothing ever becomes real until you experience it firsthand. No matter how long you train yourself to be strong, brave, or proficient at something, you never know if you are or not until something real happens to you. So get real, experience life and let it teach you what you need to know to conquer your wildest dreams.
7. You have been resisting forgiveness. Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Your willingness to forgive yourself and others is the greatest sign of your emotional and spiritual maturity. It’s a process of acceptance and understanding that allows you to let go of a situation that’s over so you can move on with your life. The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative. It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.”
Take a moment and imagine if every person (including yourself) who owed you an apology apologized today, and imagine if you accepted these apologies. What a weight lifted. Now imagine if everyone, everywhere did this. How many problems in the world would evaporate?
Namaste.
Thoughts About Change
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”
-Maya Angelou
When people bring up the word “change” in conversation, there are mixed reactions that can either skew a conversation to a dead halt or can enlighten the conversation to an optimal revival. By setting the repeat button on your life to anticipate the same routine, your mind disconnects from your body, thereby depriving yourself to experience the raw moment.
“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try”
-Seth Godin
Fear and judgement are two of the many demons that can hinder an individual to explore the endless possibilities that can be found in change. Now that the challenge is at its end, it is quite easy to fall into habitual routines. Here are a couple suggestions some of you yogis might want to test out:
Try placing your mat at a different spot in class
Trust yourself to try that pose you’ve always wanted to do
Try a different instructor’s class
Although challenging, change can be a wonderful thing. Turn uncomfortable into comfortable.
Three noteworthy books that explore change:
- The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg
- The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
- Uncertainty - Johnathan Fields
written by:
Vlady Peychoff
10 Things No One Can Steal From You
Yogalife is all about weirdness and uniqueness. We embrace it in each other and every one of you! So embrace it in yourself and celebrate it. It's one of your greatest gifts!
An excerpt from www.marcandangel.com. Of all the things that can be stolen from you – your possessions, your youth, your health, your words, your rights – what no one can ever take from you is…
1.Your uniqueness.
You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own. Having a low opinion of yourself is not humility, it’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not egotism, it’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. You deserve to wear a smile in your heart. Not because of what you have or what you do, but because of who you are Yes, you are changing each day, but you are always amazing just as you are.
2. How you feel about yourself.
It takes a long time to learn how to NOT judge yourself through someone else’s eyes, but once you do the world is yours for the taking. We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own life, and we will never be happy or successful if we try to live someone else’s idea of it. So give up worrying too much about what others think of you. What they think isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself. Read Emotional Freedom
3. Your intuition.
If you’re thinking just like everyone else, you aren’t really thinking. Follow your intuition. Do what makes sense to you. Never compare your journey to someone else’s. Everyone has their own struggles, their own challenges, and a different path that they chose to get to where they are. Remember, you don’t need to wait for external circumstances to perfectly align in order to show up for the life you’ve been dreaming of. What you’re looking for is already somewhere inside you.
4. Your passion.
If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. Find your passion, whatever it is. Become it, let it become you, and great things will happen FOR you, TO you, and BECAUSE of you. And even if things don’t work out as planned, you’ll still be heading in the right direction. Because nothing you have passion for is ever a waste of time, no matter how it turns out.
5. Your determination.
When life gives you something that makes you feel afraid, that’s when life gives you a chance to grow strong and be brave. Nothing is permanent in this crazy world, not even your mistakes, failures, or troubles. If you keep your eyes open and your feet moving forward, you’ll eventually find what you need.
6. Your attitude.
Something nobody can take away from you is the way you choose to respond to what others say and do to you. The last of your freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given circumstance. Choose to be happy and positive. It is not always easy to find happiness in ourselves, but it is always impossible to find it elsewhere. Regardless of the situation we face, our attitude is our choice. So smile as you walk away and move on from negative people and their actions.
7. Your ability to spread love and kindness.
The measure of your life will not be in what you accumulate, but in what you give away. And 99 percent of the time you get what you put in, so give freely. Charity can be in the form of a smile, lending an ear or a helping hand. There are many acts of kindness that don’t cost a cent. Remember, the ultimate goal of all goals is to be happy. If you want to be happy make those around you happy. Read The Happiness Project
8. Your hope.
It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it. The biggest obstacles that stand between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it, and the faith to believe it’s possible. Hope is the little voice inside your head that whispers “maybe” when it seems like the whole world is shouting “impossible!”
9. Your knowledge and life experiences.
Character and wisdom are sculpted over time. They come with loss, lessons, and triumphs. They come after doubts, second guesses, and unknowns. If there was a definitive path to success, everyone would be on it. The seeds of your success are planted in your past failures. Your best stories will come from overcoming your greatest struggles. Your praises will be birthed from your pains. So keep standing, keep learning, and keep living. Read The Road Less Traveled
10. Your choice to move on emotionally.
Don’t let past relationships and old mistakes ruin your future. Don’t let someone or something that didn’t make it in your life continue to hurt you. If you do, you’re still giving a portion of your life to something that no longer exists – it’s like letting your happiness slip into a black hole. Learn the lesson, release the pain, and move on. Scars remind us of where we have been, not where we are headed.
National Day of Unplugging: March 1st-2nd
Adapted from Lois Niven:
This is a challenge. It may not be easy, but it's just one day. If it's not something you can actually do, perhaps it is something to contemplate?
When I was a kid, I read that Larry Hagman, the Dallas actor, did not speak on Sundays. He would write a short note or two to his wife if necessary, but he spent one day every week taking a break from the dialogue of his acting career, which involved a lot of talking – running lines, talk show appearances, etc. At first I thought this behavior rather odd, but over the years I’ve come to appreciate the late Mr. Hagman’s ability to recognize when he needed a timeout from what must have been a hectic, nonstop lifestyle.
Today, you don’t have to be a celebrity to get caught up in nonstop communication. Thanks to technology just about everyone is on the 24/7 treadmill, plugged into at least a few devices and applications: television, Facebook, Twitter, email, texting, smartphones, and video games.
What started as convenient ways to keep in touch wherever we are has mushroomed into a gorilla who’s taken over at the helm. Do any of the following sound familiar?
- You lose track of what you were going to say because you’re reading something on your computer while talking on the phone.
- You and your friends can’t make it through lunch without someone answering her cell phone.
- You’re more concerned with getting a signal to post a photo on Facebook than taking in the view at -- where are we again? Oh yeah, the Grand Canyon.
- You feel the constant need to tweet what you just ate, bought, said, thought.
- You just dropped off your kids at school and realized that you spent the whole drive talking to someone else on the phone.
- You check for work emails right until bedtime just in case they need you.
- The clock suddenly says 2:00 am, so maybe you’ll play just one more game of Grand Theft Auto IV.
I struggle with a few of these issues from time to time, like many others in the world. For me, it's all about knowledge, and I like to know stuff now.
We’ve taken so easily to being plugged in that we don’t even stop to wonder if it’s serving us or ruling us. What’s going on in the real world around us while we constantly look to connect with one of these devices?
Electronic dialogue allows us to speak more, often to the world rather than with the people who are physically present. We also listen less. Moments of quiet and solitude are sought less often, in favor of connecting. This creates an inward-outward imbalance as we increase our communication transactions and lose the ability to just be. Simply deleting the Facebook app from my iPhone (yes, you can) has helped me tremendously.
If the next sentence sounds impossible, it’s a sign that this is something you should consider doing. The National Day of Unplugging -- from sunset Friday, March 1st to sunset Saturday, March 2nd -- is an opportunity for you to turn off all electronic communication gadgets, and instead connect with the people in your neighborhood, play a board game with your child, take a walk in nature, read a book (printed on paper), share a cup of tea with a friend. Or. Just. Do. Nothing (gasp).
Does this make your chest tighten? If so, join the movement, sign the pledge, and hit the “off” switch.
The National Day of Unplugging can be eye-opening, and for many may signal the beginning of a shift back to being in the moment.
If you don’t think you can make it through 24 hours, try 12. Try one. Start where you are and take whatever step you can. Your real life is waiting. Hang up the phone. Let's strive to be truly PRESENT, if only for a full day.
10 Inspiring Quotes When Feeling Uninspired
An excerpt adapted from www.marcandangel.com.
- Your best music is still inside you. – The only way for us to have long-term happiness and success is to live by our highest principles, to consistently act in accordance with what we believe our life is in fact about. That music you hear inside you motivating you to take risks and follow your dreams is your instinctive calling to the true purpose in your heart and mind. Don’t ignore it. Be enthusiastic about all that you do, and the possibilities that lie ahead. Have the courage to pursue your calling. Don’t die with your music still in you. Read The Power of Intention
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- It’s never too late to be who you could have been. – It’s a matter of switching gears, never looking back, and BECOMING the person today that you always knew you were capable of being. Entertain every thought, say every word, and make every decision from their point of view. Walk the way they would walk, dress the way they would dress, and spend your free time the way they would spend theirs. Choose the friends they would choose, eat the meals they would eat, and love and appreciate yourself the way they would. These steps MUST come in order for there to be change. There’s no other option, no other way. But since this person is who you REALLY are deep down, that makes this task a bit easier. You just have to STOP BEING WHO YOU AREN’T. Read The Great Work of Your Life, by Stephen Cope.
- You are greater than the problems you face. – You are more than what you are going through. You are not the mistakes you have made. Let the problems come, and let the problems go. Whatever the issue may be, engage yourself purposefully and enthusiastically in the goodness that still exists around you. You may want the hero’s journey to be an easy climb, but it never is. The rockslides in your life are there for a reason. They create the stepping stones that guide you deeper into your own heart.
- Challenges are simply opportunities. – When you encounter resistance, it means you are moving forward. When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached an opportunity for growth. Life becomes more rewarding as it becomes more demanding. Each new challenge is an opportunity to stretch beyond your previous limits. Most of the advantages you enjoy today were born in the difficulties through which you once traveled. So revel in the beauty of each challenging effort. Give your best to life, and life will return the favor many times over.
- Tough times serve a purpose. – From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story – a story that says, “I learned and I survived.” There are moments when troubles enter your life and you can do nothing to avoid them, but they are there for a reason. Only when you have overcome them will you understand why they were there. So be brave and press forward; you will not see the light at the end of the tunnel until you walk through the darkness. The Universe never gives you something you aren't capable of handling. Read Awaken the Giant Within
- There’s no excuse for giving up on your goals. – Whether a goal is possible or impossible for you depends more on what you do about it than on any other factor. Your persistent, focused attention is what brings possibilities to life. Certainly there will be obstacles that stand in your way. And you can choose to use these obstacles as excuses for giving up – many people do. But the truth is, if you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. You just need to find the strength and willpower to keep going. Success is achieved and maintained by those who try and keep trying.
- You are closer than you were yesterday. – The moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment right before a little miracle of progress happens. So don’t give up. You were strong enough to get this far; you are strong enough to take another step. Even when life issues you a series of roadblocks and disappointments, you can steadily achieve. Even when you cannot make a lot of progress, you can make a little progress. And these small steps forward add up, day after day, and ultimately lead to achievements far more impressive than those that are possible from a single effort.
- Your opinion of YOU is what’s important. – Most of the good things you do will go unnoticed by others. Do them anyway, because you will notice. Many of the contributions you make will not be fully realized by others. Make them anyway, because you realize they are the right things to do. It’s great when you receive recognition for the things you do, yet even when there is no possibility of recognition, YOU still recognize the reasons you are putting forth the effort. Your honest, authentic view of yourself influences all that you do. And that view is formed mainly during times when no one is watching. Your life is a living expression of who you know yourself to be, regardless of what others think or see. But relinquish the fruits of your labour, and do good for the sake of doing good. Become detached from the outcome to truly be and feel free.
- It’s OK to let some people walk away. – You don’t have control over the things people say about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it. Leave people to their opinions and judgments. Let them love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be. Or let them walk away if they choose. They can’t harm you either way; it’s their understanding that is faulty, not yours. Read Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
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- There’s a lot to appreciate in this moment. – Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t try to carry your entire past and future around with you. Take a break. Let go of your obsession with yesterday’s struggles and tomorrow’s to-do list, and simply enjoy the beauty of what’s right here, right now. Sometimes you have to stop thinking that some new richness will fulfill you, so you can fully experience the richness that's already yours.
9 Reasons It's Time to Move On!!!
An excerpt from www.marcandangel.com.
It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want, and then you realize that there are changes you need to make. The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits. The people you’ve known forever no longer see things the way you do. So you cherish all the great memories, but find yourself moving on. For a large description of this phase of life, you can check out Stephen Cope's Book "Yoga and the Path to the True Self."
Here are nine reasons it’s time…
- You can learn from your history, but you can’t live in it. – You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. Sometimes we avoid experiencing where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be. But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow. Read The Power of Now.
- Some things aren’t meant to be. – Everything from your past does not belong in your present. To hold onto relationships and circumstances that have already moved on without you is to stay stuck in a place and time that no longer exists. Moving on doesn’t mean you completely forget the wonderful things from your past, it just means that you find a positive way of surviving without them in your present. Life is shorter than is often seems. – While you are complaining about all the little problems in your life, somebody is desperately fighting for their right to live. You own every minute that you pass through, and that it is up to you to make the best use of each one of them. Because someday, suddenly, there will be no more minutes.
- Holding on to pain is self abuse. – Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it. Don’t let it haunt you. Replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is a form of self abuse. Toxic thoughts create a toxic life.
- Make peace with yourself and your past. When you heal your thoughts, you heal the health of your happiness. So stop focusing on old problems and things you don’t want in your future. The more you think about them, the more you attract what you fear into your everyday experiences – you become your own worst enemy. Read Full Catastrophe Living.
- Some things are out of your control. – No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine. Let the things you can’t control, happen. Allow the universe to bless you in surprising and joyful ways. What if, instead of pushing so hard to make life happen, you decided to let go a little and allow life to happen to you? What if, instead of trying to always be in control, you sometimes surrendered control to something bigger than yourself? What if, instead of working so hard to figure out every last answer, you allowed yourself to be guided to the solution in perfect timing?
- The past never changes. – You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in a dark room, over-analyzing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, and justifying what could’ve or sould’ve happened. Or you can just leave the pieces in the dark and walk out the front door into the sunlight to get some fresh air.
- Moving on creates positive change. – You may blame everyone else and think, “Poor me! Why do all these crappy things keep happening to me?” But the only thing those scenarios all have in common is YOU. And this is good news, because it means YOU alone have the power to change things, or change the way you think about things. There is something very powerful and liberating about surrendering to change and embracing it – this is where personal growth and evolution reside. Read The Noticer.
- New opportunities are out there waiting for you. – Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, something they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities. Embrace these opportunities. Enter new relationships and new situations, knowing that you are venturing into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to experience something or meet someone that just might change your life forever.
- The world needs you to let your light shine. – The powers above added one more day in your life today, not necessarily because you need it, but because the world still needs you to let your light shine. So starting today, fall in love. Not necessarily with a person, but with an aim, an ambition, a passion. What would be your reason to wake up every morning with a smile? That’s what you need to start working on today.
"Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what kind of power does it actually have?!"
12 Things to Stop Doing in the Next 12 Months (Here's to an Amazing 2013)
Let’s fast forward: You are on your death bed, wondering and imagining what you could have done. You could have pursued that passion, opened that business, or spent more time with your loved ones. But that time has long passed, and the only thing you can do now is think about what is done – what is set in stone. Oh, what you would do to get those moments back and live your life the right way – to repaint the past, take chances, spit in the face of your fears, share your love, and live with no regrets.
Close your eyes and think about it – envision yourself lying there in your final moments feeling like this. Now open your eyes. What do you see? Life and opportunity. You still have a chance. What are you waiting for?
Below you will find twelve bad habits to stop in the next twelve months. Because sometimes the smartest way to get ahead, is to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
- Stop settling for the same old routine. – So many people live daily with unhappy circumstances, and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation. They somehow believe that conforming to their current circumstances will eventually lead to a life of comfort, security, and peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to their spirit. The very basic core of the human spirit is a natural passion for exploration and growth. This growth comes directly from our encounters with new experiences; and hence there is no greater destination in life than to have an endlessly changing horizon – for each day to have a new and different sun. Read A New Earth
(it will blow your mind about the new thinking of consciousness, especially as we move through December 21st)
- Stop ignoring your education. – Love it or hate it, being in school makes personal growth easy. You learn things that you never would have taught yourself otherwise. You are put in situations designed specifically to challenge your mind. But once your school days are over and the assignments have stopped, no one is forcing you to learn anymore. It is so easy to stall without the rituals of active schooling, and gradually slip into a pattern of educational idleness – many people do. As adults there is no curriculum to follow, except the goals we set for ourselves. Even though no one is actively challenging you, you must still choose to challenge yourself EVERY DAY.
- Stop trying to transform the people around you. – The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated as is. Sometimes we try to be sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image of what we want them to be – what we think we need, love, or desire. But these actions and perceptions are against reality, against their benefit and ours, and always end in disappointment – because it does not fit them. The beginning of love is to let those we care about be perfectly themselves, and not to distort them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
- Stop numbing yourself. – ‘Numbing’ is any activity that you use to desensitize your feelings so that you don’t experience vulnerability or hurt. But by numbing yourself to vulnerability, you also numb yourself to love, belonging, creativity, and empathy. Remember, love is scary. Love is risky. Love is unsafe. Love isn’t for the faint of heart. Love takes courage. And most importantly, love and fear can’t coexist. Love means giving someone the opportunity to break your heart, but trusting them not to.
- Stop belittling your potential. – You are a victim of the rules and beliefs you live by. But you are what you choose today, not what you have chosen before. So let today be the day you love yourself enough to no longer just dream of a better life; let today be the day you create it. Don’t hope for an easy way out. Look inside yourself for the strength you need to achieve your dreams, and then take action. Read The Road Less Traveled
- Stop wasting time. – You are customer of bank called TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as a loss, whatever remainder you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you with the same deposit of 86,400 seconds. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the tomorrow. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success. You’re making withdrawals right this second; make them count.
- Stop disregarding your own significance. – You are one person out of seven billion people, on one planet out of eight, in one star system out of a hundred billion, in one galaxy out of another hundred billion. And you are enormously significant! Why? Because out of a hundred billion galaxies existing in a hundred billion star systems, out of seven billion people, you have your own unique genetic makeup. Your thumbprint and thoughts are yours alone. You can craft art, solve scientific problems, and create life through your love and passion. And you are depended on by others who love you. You are enormously significant.
- Stop getting sucked into needless drama. – No matter how badly people treat you, never drop down to their level; just know you’re better off without their negativity and walk away. If you attach yourself to their negative behavior it brings you down to their level. There honestly comes a time when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and people who create it, and surround yourself with people who make you smile so big that you forget the bad, and focus solely on good. Life truly is too short for anything less.
- Stop being so quick to judge. – No matter how strong a person is, they have weak points. And sometimes all they really need is a listening ear from a compassionate friend. You must consider their circumstances with love rather than judgment. You must move into the right here, right now, with an open heart and a willingness to be supportive, unconditionally.
- Stop focusing on the negative. – Anyone can see that it’s imperfect; it takes a wise person to see how it’s perfect. Anyone can describe how it’s getting worse; it takes a wise person to describe how it can be joyfully improved. Anyone can feel overwhelmed and give up; it takes a wise person to take compassionate, persistent and committed action every day. Wisdom is this simple. So start being wise with your perspective. Read The Tao of Pooh
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- Stop treating change as a bad thing. – In life, loss is inevitable. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, and so forth, is hard to accept. But everything around you – your body, your possessions, your relationships – is impermanent. Everything around you changes, so you must seek an understanding within yourself which remains forever. You don’t have control over every little thing that happens to you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it. One of the keys to happiness is to pay as much attention to the changes that are working positively in your life as you do to those changes that are giving you trouble.
- Stop stressing over what could have been. – Because the chances are if it should have been, it would have been. Change happens. Happiness is about trusting that what has happened has long-term positive rather than negative results. Trust that life is happening for you, not to you. This “inverse paranoia” of believing everything is for the greater good helps the human spirit face and welcome life’s changes cheerfully. Give it a try; it makes all the difference.
10 Actions That Always Bring Happiness
An excerpt from www.marcandangel.com.
Starting today…
- Appreciate what you have. – If we counted our blessings instead of our money, we would all be a lot richer. Happiness is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it’s wrapped in beauty and hidden delicately between the seconds of your life. If you never stop for a minute to notice, you might miss it. Read The Happiness Project.
- Focus on things that truly matter. – The simple fact that you are even here, alive, on this planet is a divine miracle, and you should not spend the time you have being busy, being miserable. Every moment you get is a gift, so stop focusing on unhappy things, and spend your moments on things that truly matter to your heart.
- Define your own meaning of life, and pursue it. – What is the meaning of life? Whatever you want it to be. Don’t fear failure; fear alifetime of mediocrity due to lack of effort and commitment. There are so many people out there who will tell you that you CAN’T. What you need to do is turn around and say, “Watch me!”
- Embrace life’s challenges. – You may think that taking a detour in life is a waste of time and energy, but you can also see the detour as a means of learning more about who you are and where you are heading in your life. Being off the beaten path may be disorienting and confusing at times, yet it challenges your creative spirit to discover new ways to build a stronger YOU. In the end, it’s usually the tough situations that feel like your tomb that actually become your cocoon. Hang in there. You’re coming out of this stronger and wiser.
- Find the balance that allows you to be who you truly are. – Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel. One of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and try harder or when to just take your memories and move on. Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are.
- Love your body enough to take care of it. – You’re beautiful; but keep in mind that not everyone is going to see that. Never be ashamed of yourself because you are born into one skin. You can scar it, stretch it, burn it, mark it, tan it, and peel it. But you are always in it, so you might as well take care of it and learn to love it. Read The 4-Hour Body.
- Limit your time with negative people. – You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable. So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people.
- Treat others the way you want to be treated. – Be conscious of your attitude and your actions. You may be on top of the world right now – feeling untouchable. You may have all the tools at your disposal to do and say whatever you want. But remember, life is a circle – what goes around, comes around eventually.
- Set a good example. – If you want to empower others in your life, you need to start living the most empowered version of yourself first. You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Believe in what you want so much that it has no choice but to become your reality. And don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else; stay focused on your own journey and leave footprints behind. Read The Four Agreements.
- Accept what is, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead. – Never waste your time wondering about what might have been. Get busy thinking about what still might be, and trusting that however it plays out, it will leave you glad that what might have been, never came to be.
Happiness. What an idea!
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